Yes, the rumors are true...

So, some of you have been in on this process, some of you have not, but...the short version is that about 2 weeks ago I officially 'gave notice' here at Kidder Creek that I will no longer be working here in a full time capacity after this summer. I'll be moving back to Santa Cruz as of Sept 15. Woo-hoo! :)

Those of you who know me well know that 2 of my bigest passions in life are community with others and wilderness minstry. I have a heart to draw people into deep connections with each other through time together, whether it's spent over a meal, a Bible study, or a fireside chat. I also have a heart to take people on excursions into Creation so that they can connect more with who God is, and who He wants them to be. God has brought me many opportunities in the past to be involved in both of those things, and I believe He's bringing me an opportunity now to continue in those 2 avenues.

The last 2 years of living here at KC have been such a blessing in many ways, but one area that has been a real challenge is that of community. There's a joy to living in a small town, but one of the down sides is that there are virtually no single people in my age range, let alone Christian ones that I can potentially have deep community with. When i moved here I didn't think that would be as hard as it has been, but I was wrong! I'm realizing more and more how 'made for people' I am (though it seems to come as no surprise to those who know me)...my soul is made for connection with other people who are at similar life-stages to myself, and I'm now deeply aware of how tough it is to live most of life without intimate community around you.

Another area that has become a challenge in the last 2 years is my passionate love for wilderness minstry. As i've spent more and more time diving into what the full-time "Program Director" job is becoming here at KC, I"ve realized that it is not moving me more towards wilderness minstry, it's actually moving me further away from it, and more into administration and supervistion. And while it's been a great learningexperience...life's too short to not do what you LOVE. I can't deny that (especially during the summer) my heart longs to be out in the wilderness and on the river much more than this job is able to let me.

In light of all that, and of a multitude of other small and medium sized reasons, I've spent the last few months praying about the possibility of moving on from this full time position at KC. My boss and I have been talking about it since last September, and when I told him a few weeks ago that I was for sure going to leave, he said he was "sad, but not surprised." He's fully in support of me following the passions and dreams that God has given me, so that is super cool.

Perhaps one of the things that I'm most excited about in this is how I am freed up to continue pursuing wilderness ministry; at KC during the summers, possibly at NOLS (see below), or even in other avenues that God has not yet revealed. My body ain't getting any younger, so if I want to move forward in these dreams of mine, now is the time. I get so freaking STOKED when I think about being able to backpack and raft again this summer (more than i have for the last 2 summers!)....Oi.... :)

So.....the tentative plan is to move back to santa cruz in the fall (yeay for building community, being around people my age and life stage, investing in intimate friendships, and partaking in a kick ass church again!!), substitute or maybe teach part time, and waitress, thru may 1st 2008, when I hope to take the NOLS (www.nols.edu) Instructor Course (34 days backpacking and rock climbing in the Rockies, OI!!),then be qualified to work both for them and for KC in summer of 08 (and on into eternity). I'm praying about going back into the classroom in fall of08, but that's a long ways away, and lots can (and I'm sure WILL) change between now and then :) It's been a hard decision, because there is much that I DO love about living and working here...it's actually been a REALLY tough decision. I will cry when I leave here, and I will miss people alot, but...I am comforted by the knowledge that I LOVE LOVE LOVE working here during the summer, so it's not goodbye...it's just 'see you soon' :)

Whew! That was a long one :) But long overdue, as well. So...for those of you in SC, I'm looking for housing come Sept 15!

Just wanted to keep everyone updated...so that is the story :)

love to you!

A movie that's actually a bit real-life-ish...

So, I saw a movie on Valentine's Day (spent with my mom, no less, instead of all the men who were knocking on my door...oh, wait...what men??) that was quite interesting. It's called "Prime" and it has Uma Thurman (heart-stoppingly gorgeous as always) and Meryl Streep. (i would put a picture of it up here but...i'm not internet savvy and don't know how to get pics off the internet...anyone help me??) Good commentary on relationships (family and dating) and quite funny in many parts. [**disclaimer: if you don't like spoilers, stop reading NOW because I'm going to give away the end of the movie! You have been warned...]

Fascinating story that involves Rafi (uma), a 37 year old divorcee with trust issues, going to see her therapist, (whose character's name escapes me)Meryl Streep. One night Uma meets this great guy Dave, who is wonderful and funny and sweet and talented, but on their first date she finds out that he's...23. (For those of you who know my last years of dating style...right up my alley...) Anyway, they continue to see each other and fall madly in love (done quite well in the movie), then Meryl realizes that this guy Rafi is telling her about is her SON (meryl's). OI! Meryl freaks, a bit of chaos ensues, etc. The point being that Rafi and Dave really love each other, and really want to make it work. Here's the spoiler, and what is alternately great and heartbreaking about the movie: in the end, they DON'T end up together. They realize that they're moving in opposite directions, and that though their love is real...sometimes, JUST love isn't enough. And they go their separate ways, sad, but with all these great memories...

Needless to say, I went to bed and cried. But I watched it again a week later, and only cried a little, because I realized...really, that's often how it is. You love someone, and you both give and learn and work really hard to see if it will work out, but...sometimes, it just can't. And I am finally really embracing the idea that just because it ends doesn't mean it was wrong in the first place...and doesn't mean that either of you didn't WANT it to work out. And doesn't invalidate what you had. Sometimes...we just have to love, and grow, and...move on. Having just come off of something similar in my own life, it just really resonated with me. And I was really grateful to see Hollywood finally doing it right--i think so many of us grow up with these unrealistic ideas about dating and marriage, because we are fed too many romantic comedy lies--that it ALWAYS works out, no matter what. It was nice to see an authentic and realistic depiction of dating relationships.

So, for those of you who can stand some foul language and know how to ffwd thru the multitude of sex scenes, I recommend it. Especially if you're still single and/or have ever nursed a broken heart.

Praise God for how He uses EVERYTHING in our lives to teach us. I'll confess I'm so GLAD to finally be at a point of healing and resolve over past dating relationships in my life...actually GRATEFUL that they happened, with no hard feelings. amazing what Jesus can do, eh? :)

Props to Uma, Meryl and ...Brian somebody, the actor who plays the 23 year old. And shoot...he got to make out with UMA THURMAN and got PAID for it...what young guy wouldn't want THAT job?? :)